recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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