Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
