Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
