I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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