if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
