He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize