So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
