So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You ruined the universe
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
