you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
