There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
