dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
