Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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