My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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