Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...

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  (313): Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends... http://tfl.nu/38n2
  Replies (15) Good night (1493) Bad night (671)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.

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  (202): I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole. http://tfl.nu/2lml
  Replies (37) Good night (5200) Bad night (806)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?

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  (603): So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me" (1-603): Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole? http://tfl.nu/54bk
  Replies (6) Good night (2785) Bad night (951)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.

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  (845): I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet. http://tfl.nu/36t1
  Replies (32) Good night (2072) Bad night (6448)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.

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  (515): at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there. http://tfl.nu/x808
  Replies (4) Good night (2589) Bad night (834)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.

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  (816): My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis. http://tfl.nu/3uql
  Replies (10) Good night (5870) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.

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  (248): Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor. http://tfl.nu/dwej
  Replies (1) Good night (2385) Bad night (863)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats

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  (775): Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats http://tfl.nu/kxcv
  Replies (2) Good night (1464) Bad night (562)
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  (925): View more from California

  Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?

  (1-925): View more from California

  Come on man nobody wants to admit that

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  (925): Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night? (1-925): Come on man nobody wants to admit that http://tfl.nu/8oz0
  Replies (7) Good night (2959) Bad night (700)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.

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  (+44): i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life. http://tfl.nu/b0wt
  Replies (6) Good night (955) Bad night (393)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.

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  (417): Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/mh6q
  Replies (4) Good night (853) Bad night (374)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

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  (832): Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only. http://tfl.nu/5mf4
  Replies (4) Good night (623) Bad night (277)
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  (707): View more from California

  I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.

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  (707): I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over. http://tfl.nu/3xvt
  Replies (2) Good night (489) Bad night (206)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.

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  (913): Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito. http://tfl.nu/fh2t
  Replies (5) Good night (502) Bad night (194)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...

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  (407): We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup... http://tfl.nu/u3jq
  Replies (1) Good night (180) Bad night (608)

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