Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?