Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow

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(989): i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow http://tfl.nu/zmy7

Replies (11) Good night (2064) Bad night (769)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.

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(864): weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps. http://tfl.nu/jawa

Replies (51) Good night (17823) Bad night (1078)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.

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(908): Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim. http://tfl.nu/snt6

Replies (21) Good night (1138) Bad night (3942)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Oh. He liked you.

(970): View more from Colorado

Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."

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(970): Oh. He liked you. (970): Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado." http://tfl.nu/je5x

Replies (22) Good night (1209) Bad night (3360)
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(224): View more from Illinois

he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"

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(224): he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?" http://tfl.nu/j7hy

Replies (44) Good night (7634) Bad night (4435)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.

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(403): Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'. http://tfl.nu/ube5

Replies (8) Good night (5741) Bad night (1349)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"

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(703): I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila" http://tfl.nu/s09r

Replies (11) Good night (4706) Bad night (1007)
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(305): View more from Florida

MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.

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(305): MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like. http://tfl.nu/d99s

Replies (17) Good night (1496) Bad night (5610)
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(443): View more from Maryland

He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.

(315): View more from New York

You would pick up a guy in AA.

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(443): He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me. (315): You would pick up a guy in AA. http://tfl.nu/v9fc

Replies (12) Good night (3779) Bad night (956)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.

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(781): his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me. http://tfl.nu/jba1

Replies (5) Good night (2251) Bad night (875)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds

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(306): He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/ogvx

Replies (6) Good night (2320) Bad night (982)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.

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(802): Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester. http://tfl.nu/l7en

Replies (1) Good night (1540) Bad night (608)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.

(816): View more from Missouri

I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.

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(816): Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night. (816): I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it. http://tfl.nu/9xew

Replies (6) Good night (1636) Bad night (657)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?

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(301): Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke? http://tfl.nu/hphp

Replies (11) Good night (1073) Bad night (429)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING

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(320): I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING http://tfl.nu/fcp6

Replies (12) Good night (1552) Bad night (272)

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