I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
