check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
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I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table