Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?