Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

check it out our google latitudes are spooning

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(804): View more from Virginia

i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.

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(512): View more from Texas

he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.

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(206): View more from Washington

Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.

(360): View more from Washington

You're getting good at this, you know that?

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(817): View more from Texas

Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.

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(510): View more from California

stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work

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(810): View more from Michigan

According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.

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(409): View more from Texas

You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off

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(860): View more from Connecticut

sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table

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