Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.

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  (714): drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well. http://tfl.nu/2mtg
  Replies (26) Good night (8297) Bad night (1563)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  that was a mass text, wasnt it?

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  (303): im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared. (1-303): that was a mass text, wasnt it? http://tfl.nu/9i1u
  Replies (22) Good night (7281) Bad night (1578)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.

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  (425): He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me. http://tfl.nu/6hfm
  Replies (18) Good night (4894) Bad night (2279)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?

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  (843): I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome? http://tfl.nu/1lt0
  Replies (23) Good night (1553) Bad night (7093)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  Where the hell are you

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He's winning.

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  (706): I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon. (1-706): Where the hell are you (706): He's winning. http://tfl.nu/bx2u
  Replies (23) Good night (5889) Bad night (1305)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.

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  (713): Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night. http://tfl.nu/wvak
  Replies (9) Good night (4379) Bad night (836)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.

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  (304): Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on. http://tfl.nu/4qlm
  Replies (10) Good night (4677) Bad night (1038)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.

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  (845): I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break. http://tfl.nu/bwgw
  Replies (4) Good night (1829) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.

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  (715): I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT. http://tfl.nu/2ujd
  Replies (27) Good night (3481) Bad night (777)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying

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  (208): I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying http://tfl.nu/lvtn
  Replies (8) Good night (640) Bad night (1474)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal

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  (651): Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal http://tfl.nu/k2ew
  Replies (5) Good night (1137) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.

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  (949): You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on. http://tfl.nu/pfvu
  Replies (2) Good night (467) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there

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  (650): I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there http://tfl.nu/bqch
  Replies (5) Good night (796) Bad night (394)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar

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  (775): This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar http://tfl.nu/olfy
  Replies (5) Good night (444) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.

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  (916): Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand. http://tfl.nu/j2wp
  Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (728)

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