Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
the raccoons are back...
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