i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
