hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
