Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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