The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
