So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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