I just pynch a tree in the face
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize