I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
