Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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