That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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