after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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