Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
