i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
