I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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