It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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