And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
