I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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