wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
