Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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