Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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