Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize