Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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