I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
