I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
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adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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