I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
