Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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