my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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