I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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