I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
