remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
