Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
