I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
third nipple confirmed
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize