Me. At least after what I've been through.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
