i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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