dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
