i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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