shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
