sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
