If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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