is your mom at the bar?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
